The REAL Fish‑and‑Chips (and Lost Relatives, Too!)

Britain’s national dish is no longer bloody roasted beef, but rather fish‑and‑chips: batter‑fried fish and French fries, that is. Without fish‑and‑chips, eaten by millions of Englishmen everyday, the British economy would probably plummet and the national health care service grapple with more heart patients, no doubt. But fish‑and‑chips must be done just so in order to qualify as the REAL thing.

First of all, in England, the fish has to be right: flounder, sole, cod, or plaice are the fish of choice. Thousands of tons of these fish go on the auction block in Britain each week to meet the persistent demand for fish‑and‑chips. Secondly, along with the fish, several tons of potatoes end up served on the side as “chips.” And thirdly, to cook it all, at least 28,000 employees heat up 250 tons of cooking fat per day. Let’s not even discuss the mashed green peas, which to an American, make no sense at all … .

Of course, the fish‑and‑chips that result might not come rolled up in a newspaper cone anymore and haven’t been since 1968 (we must think of sanitation these days, mustn’t we?), but the basic recipe is still the REAL one established by 1838. There was even a book written about fish‑and‑chips, entitled The Gourmet’s Guide to Fish‑and‑Chips, by Pierre Picton.

Some vendors get around the newspaper ban by first wrapping the fish‑and‑chips in plain white paper and then surrounding that with newspaper. Many people suggest that the English are not as literate anymore since they no longer have The Daily Express or The Times in their hands at least occasionally. Who knows? However, one man actually claimed that he found a long‑lost relative through an ad he read while eating fish‑and‑chips!

Whatever the fish‑and‑chips vendor wraps your catch in, it is absolutely necessary to ply your portion with plenty of salt and malt vinegar. And you must eat the lot while it is HOT. Scorching. Accept no imitations.

But don’t forget that fish-and-chips grew out of the Jewish practice of frying food. This iconic English dish dates to the 19th century! What?

“Give me your order, G’vnor, it’ll be comin’ right up, it will.”

Mashed green peas optional.

REAL Fish‑and‑Chips

Serves 4

4 large fish fillets (flounder, cod, plaice, or sole), cut into 3 pieces

Seasoned flour (flour, salt, and pepper mixed together)

1 1/2 pounds of potatoes, cut into French fries

Oil for deep frying

Batter:

3/4 cup flour

1 t. salt

1 egg

1/2 cup milk

1 T. water

1 t. vinegar

1. Mix the batter ingredients until smooth. Fry the potatoes first in the oil, heated to 350 degrees F. Fry for 7‑8 minutes, depending upon the thickness of the chips. Drain on paper. Reheat oil to 400 degrees F and refry the chips for about 2 minutes, drain again, and keep warm in a 250 degrees F oven.

2. Dredge the fish in the seasoned flour, heat the oil to 365 degrees F, dunk the fish in the batter, and fry the fish until golden brown and crisp. Drain on paper. Serve immediately with vinegar and salt and the chips.