“Just like in the movies, when the hero finally gets up to the ticket window and the clerk slams it shut.” That thought ballooned in my mind when I walked up to the doors of the Museo del Prado in Madrid on a Monday morning.
CLOSED.
No Velazquez.
Of course, Monday. Here’s something mnemonic for travelers: Monday = museums.
Even though I really wanted to throw a hissy fit worthy of Scarlet O’Hara, I did what I always do when disappointed by something in life: I looked for something to cook or to eat. Since cooking was out of the question at the moment, eating seemed like a good thing to consider.
Across the street, I saw a large hand-lettered sign, like the sandwich boards in front of American diners.
TAPAS.
I darted through the traffic like a ball in an old pinball machine and pushed open the door of the place.
As I sat down at the long bar, I couldn’t believe all the different dishes I was seeing. I glanced at the clock — only 10 a.m. And yet people jammed the joint, pointing to this dish and that, swilling glasses of red wine and smoking incessantly. What was that old saying, “When in Rome … ?”
So I found art that day anyway. I gorged on some of the very same dishes that Velazquez included in his art.
Served in clay cazuelas, that food inspired artists like Velazquez to paint. And cooks/chefs like Francisco Martínez Montiño and Diego Granado Maldonado to, well, cook.
Francisco Martínez Montiño — chef to Philip III — named his book Arte de cocina, pastelería, vizcochería y conservería (1611).
And his rival, Diego Granado Maldonado, named his Libro del Arte de Cozina (1599).
Martínez Montiño’s book went through 22 editions before 1760. In that book, in a way common to some people even today, he passive-aggressively nails Granado Maldonado, out of jealousy aiming to destroy the other’s reputation. (For just one modern example, see Madeline & Julia.) According to Alicia Rios, Martínez Montiño wrote the following:
The intent I have in writing this little book is that there are no books which can assist those who serve the Office of the Kitchen, and that they cannot commit all of it to memory. Only one I have seen, and so mistaken, that it is enough to ruin whoever uses it, and composed by an Official who is almost unknown in this Court; and in this way the things of the Book are not practiced in a way that any Apprentice can benefit from, least of all the Spanish. (From Culinary Biographies, p. 272.)
Like Ibn Sayyār al-Warrāq in his tenth-century Baghdadi cookbook, Martínez Montiño begins his work with an admonition on the importance of cleanliness in the kitchen:
CAPITULO PRIMERO*
De la limpieza de la cocina,
y del gobierno que ha de tener el Cocinero mayor en ella.
…
Otra cosa tengo experimentada, que hombre que sea torpe, o patituerto, nunca salen oficiales, ni son bien limpios. Procurese que sean de buena disposición, liberales, de buen rostro, y que presuman de galanes, que con ello andarán limpios, y lo serán en su oficio, que los otros, por ser pesados, tienen pereza, y nunca hacen cosa buena, que el oficio de la Cocina, aunque parece que es cosa facil, no es sino muy dificultuoso.
Funny, isn’t it, how nothing really changes?
*
Chapter One
Of cleanliness in the Kitchen
And the discipline that the head Cook needs there.
Another thing I’ve experienced, that clumsy men, bandy-legged, never are they skilled nor very clean. Look for those with a good disposition, free spirits, handsome features, and who think like winners, with all that they will be clean in their persons and will also be clean in their work, but the others, being sluggish and lazy, never will produce anything good, thinking that the job of a Cook is an easy thing, when it is nothing but difficult. (Translation by C. Bertelsen)

Read more about Francisco Martínez Montiño in my upcoming book:
“A Hastiness of Cooks”: A Practical Handbook
for Use in Deciphering the Mysteries
of Historic Recipes and Cookbooks,
For Living-History Reenactors,
Historians, Writers, Chefs,
Archaeologists,
and, of Course, Cooks – soon on Amazon!
© 2019 C. Bertelsen
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